My Metaphorical Story
by puddingking
Summary: In this story all of my friends represent a character. I use the characters to act out what we do. It's kind of a parody of horror movies.
1. Let's kill it!

This is a metaphorical story about all of my online friends.Enjoy!:)  
  
Me-Vishnu,the Destroyer  
Nick N.-Jasper the scary janitor  
Crazyboy-Mr.Phillip Burkonshire  
Zztman-Juan Pedro  
Tooie-Genghis Khan  
Goldensun-Sir Mixalot  
Chapter 1-Let's kill it!  
"I am Vishnu,the Destroyer!"Said Vishnu,the Destroyer.  
"As am I.I too am Vishnu,the Destroyer"Genghis Khan blurted out.  
"Are you.....are you mocking me,Genghis Khan?"Vishnu paddadled.  
"Could it be possible,Vishnu,that you are just a fag?"Conquered Ghengis Khan.  
"I do not know.It could be so,I suppose."Stoned Vishnu said.  
Suddenly,Jasper the scary janitor came in.  
  
"Hey Vishnu,I just won like a billion dollars,man."Jasper declared.  
"I won it from playing with cells in a block MUHAHAH!"He continued.  
"Shut up,you.........MURDERER!"Vishnu replied.  
  
*Dramatic music plays*  
At that exact moment,and by that I mean the EXACT moment,Sir Mixalot and Mr.Phillip Burkonshire walked in.  
  
"I am Phillip Burkonshire!" "And I am Sir Mixalot!"They said in sync with eachother.  
  
"I will now explain my comments from before.You may remember,Sir Mixalot."And Vishnu started to explain.  
"A few weeks ago" He continued "We were destroying cars behind the school,and we saw a butt.!"  
"So,"He continued to continue "Sir Mixalot pointed it out to Jasper,telling him 'Look,Jasper.A butt.I like it.It's big.'"  
"And so"He continued to continue his continuation "Jasper killed it.He didn't even consult me.YOU COULD HAVE ATLEAST SAID 'LET'S KILL IT!' OR SOMETHING!"  
"I'll kill you.I swea.....AHHH!!!"Jasper exclaimed.  
  
Suddenly,out of no where,Juan Pedro,the latin radio D.J.,appeared and shot Jasper in the leg!  
  
"Woah.Jasper,Juan Pedro just shot you in the leg."Genghis Khan told Jasper  
"What?" Jasper replied "You lie.No one shot me in the leg.......AHH!Hmmm.....so he did....it is no matter."  
"Hmmm...you're bleeding profusely.I'll just stitch it up here...."Vishnu said,and proceeded to stitch the leg of Jasper up.  
"well.." Sir Mixalot proposed "We have to go find Juan,and bring him to justice no matter what it takes.I LIKE BIG BUTTS!"  
To be continued...... 


	2. What shall we do with Juan Pedro?

New character:  
Bill Clinton-Kiddythe1  
"I am Vishnu,the Destroyer"Said Vishnu,the Destroyer.  
"Look!"He continued"It's JUAN PEDRO!"  
  
"I.....I can explain"Juan Pedro pagajuladed.  
"Ya see..."He continued"I was insanely tired.I get cranky when I'm tired.VERY CRANKY!YOU HAVE NO IDEA.But,Vishnu knows.Yeah,I snapped out at him the other day just for talking to me.I says to him 'Hey man,you don't have to talk to me all the time.STOP IT YA BUM!' and so he smacked me in the face"  
  
"Wow."Genghis Khan exclamertarated."That made no sense at all.I hope you die."  
  
"Well"Juan Pedro continued to continue"I was so tired,that I shot Jasper without even noticing it.I guess I'm just that good of a shot.I rock!And plus....I am Latin.Full of Latin love."  
  
"Hey"Bill Clinton crapped out as he walked in"Does uh.......does anyone here know the meaning of life?Because....you should know it,if you have done anything in life at all.No,you don't have to have studied anything.Just living life will give you this information.Yeah......So what's goin on?Anyone get shot?"  
  
"As a matter of fact" Sir Mixalot danced "Jasper got shot.By Juan Pedro!!!!"  
  
"JUAN PEDRO!"Mr.Phillip Burkonshire Z855TN7ed"Why would you do that?...WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT HUH?!!?IM GONNA WARN YOU FOR THAT!GOD!NO!I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO A ROOM OF CHATTING WITH YOU!YOU BUM WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!GOD!oh your joking?That's cool."  
  
Everyone was silent for about 45 minutes after that,until Genghis Khan peed himself.  
  
"So,what are we going to do about Juan Pedro?I say we hang him."Jasper proposed  
  
"NO YES MAYBE WHO KNOWS WE MAY IM SO CONFUSED I STILL HAVE PEE ON MY LEG"They all jibber jabbered.  
What will happen?Will they hang Juan Pedro?Will Jasper heal?Will Genghis Khan ever stop being wierd?To be continued. 


	3. Quit getting shot,Jasper

New characters:  
The excited screaming fan-Cookie  
Girl who overreacts-Selene  
Ron Popeil-Perfect Idiot  
And so they hung Juan Pedro,and he is now dead.What shall our heroes do,now that they have completed the task at hand?They shall watch cows being milked.  
  
"These cows are hot!"Vishnu mooed.  
"You have quite a strange fetish there,Vishnu,you destroyer,you."Juan Pedro replied  
"What the...."Bill Clinton pergajulated"We killed you,Juan Pedro!!"  
"What of it,punk?"Juan Pedro askerfied  
"I don't even know....."Bill Clinton said,and then he walked out of this story forever.  
  
Everyone mourned the loss of Bill Clinton,until Genghis Khan peed himself again.  
  
"You have bladder problems,don't you,Gengis Khan?"Asked the anonymous person.  
"Hey....who are you,anonymous person?"Jasper jitter bugged.  
"I am an excited screaming fan!!" Said the excited screaming fan.  
"Woah!GIVE ME A HUG!EVERYONE GIVE ME A HUG!!!I WANT A HUG NOW!!I'LL SPEAK IN FRENCH!I SWEAR ILL DO IT!YOU ASKED FOR IT!!Y'V'D'G'H' G'G'D'F'G'F SF'F'S'DG' H'H''FD'TGH.......YEAH.YOU DIDN'T THINK I WOULD DO IT!!MWAHAHAHAHA!!!"She continues,but you probably already figured out that it was her speaking all along by now.You're so smart.  
  
Suddenly,girl who overacts entered the room,and hit everyone with her tentacles!!  
  
"Yum yum.These are some good tentacles." Vishnu said,as he bit of some of the tentacles  
  
At this moment,girl who overreacts overreacted,and morphed into some kind of a demon beast.  
  
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ATE ONE OF MY TENTACLES!!YOU WILL KNOW BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!GAH!ELVES HAVE KIDNAPPED ME!!HELLLPPP!!"  
  
"Hmm.That was interesting."Mr.Phillip Burkonshir declared.  
"No,it wasn't,actually."He continuated.  
"WE AGREE"They all jibber jabbered.  
  
And so,since there was nothing else to talk about,Ron Popeil entered the room.  
  
"Hey guys I'm Ro.....what was that?What was that!?Did someone just say something the slightest bit annoying?I WILL NEVER SPEAK TO THAT PERSON AGAIN!!!I WILL TELL EVERYONE ON THIS BOARD OF MESSAGES OF THEIR ANNOYANCE AND ALL WILL FOLLOW ME!!!MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!GWAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
Ron Popeil is so crazy.*laughs at Ron Popeil*  
  
"AHHH!!!"Someone screamed.No one knew who it was,even though they knew it was Bill Clinton.  
"Holy crap!"then he proceeded to explain for 10 hours how he came back"And that's how it happened.WOAH!Jasper got shot in the leg again!I wonder who did it......"  
  
"Twas I!"Sir Mixalot shooby doobied.And then he ran away.  
  
What will happen?Will they catch Sir Mixalot?Will Genghis Khan ever get his bladder fixed?Will the cow ever be milked?No one will ever know.Except for the people who read my next chapter. 


	4. Why do the cow and the prostitute kill c...

New characters:  
The cow- VideoGamer  
The prostitute- Fire Blazer Cutie  
"I am Vishnu, the destroyer! ", said Vishnu, the destroyer.  
"Ummm...." Juan Pedro jingalinged.  
"So, anyway" Sir Mixalot said.  
"AHHH!!!!" replied Ron Popeil. "It's SIR MIXALOT!!!"  
"Ha-HA!" Sir Mixalot shoobydoobied.  
  
At this exact moment, the prostitute and the cow came in.  
  
"Hey everybody!!" They said to everyone, "We like to kill babies. It's pretty cool, killing babies. You should try killing babies sometime. Wait... what the hell? Did you just call me a lying whore?"  
  
"Umm... no." Said Ron Popeil, Vishnu, and Genghis Khan  
  
"Well, we just twisted all of your words around" the whore and the cow continued "and the result of that twisting of words was you all calling us lying whores!! We also are horrible excuses for human beings and some one needs to murder us. Yes."  
  
"That's interesting..." Poogiejoogied Genghis Khan.  
  
Everyone was silent for about three hours after that, until Ghengis Khan peed himself.  
  
"Whoops. There it goes again." Genghis Khan said in reply to all the staring  
"Why, may I ask.." Mr. Phillip Burkonshire and Jasper asked "Are you all staring at Genghis? The whore and the cow are the ones who give sex for money and kill babies!!"  
  
"That is so true." Sir Mixalot said  
"And anyway..." he continued "Who cares what they think? They are idiotic morons who have sex with their sisters and eat dog crap."  
  
"You really don't care what anyone thinks about you when it comes to killing babies, do you, Sir Mixalot?" Vishnu said  
  
"I sure don't. Anyway, I'm not sure what's going on anymore, so, this is the end of our journey, I guess."  
  
"And remember, you guys.... we murder children" the prostitute and the cow said, in sync.  
I am ending this story now, hoping that anyone who has read this now knows who, of the people I know, are good people, and who deserves to rot in hell, whatever you hold that to be.  
  
But, to recap for you....  
  
Everyone except for the people represented by the cow and the prostitute are good people.  
  
They, on the other hand, are those certain few who deserve to rot in hell.  
THE END 


End file.
